Book Review: What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing by Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey
/“This book is for anyone with a mother, father, partner, or child who may have experienced trauma. And, if you’ve ever had labels like ‘people pleaser,’ ‘self-sabotager,’ ‘disruptive,’ ‘argumentative,’ ‘checked out,’ ‘can’t hold a job,’ or ‘bad at relationships’ used to describe you or your loved ones, this book is for you. Or if you simply want to better understand yourself and others, this book is for you, too.” What Happened to You?” Note from the Authors
Conversations on trauma have been radically evolving over the past few decades. As the mental health field understands more and more about the impact of trauma on attachment and neurodevelopment, especially for children, the question we ask is shifting from “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?”
I recently listened to the audiobook, What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing by Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey. Of course we all know Oprah; what you might not know is that she has spent decades advocating for deep conversations, research, and support around trauma-related topics. Dr. Bruce Perry, meanwhile, is a leading child psychiatrist and the developer of the “developmentally-sensitive, neurobiology-informed” Neurosequental Clinical Model, an assessment lens for working with survivors of childhood abuse and neglect. Together, they explore how early life experiences shape who we are and how we interact with and make sense of the world. Significantly, by reframing our question from “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?”, blame and stigma is lifted from the individual. In turn, more curiosity and possibility opens up for individuals, mental health providers, and communities to explore pathways toward healing and resilience.
As Oprah describes,
“Through this lens we can build a renewed sense of personal self-worth and ultimately recalibrate our responses to circumstances, situations, and relationships. It is, in other words, the key to reshaping our very lives.”
I highly recommend giving the audiobook a listen, in favor of the printed book itself. Oprah and Dr. Perry narrate the audiobook, giving it a conversational, approachable, and engaging tone as the two describe their own life experiences, both personally and professionally. Through each chapter, you may find yourself with greater curiosity and compassion toward yourself and those around you.
If you’re interested in starting your own journey toward compassion, healing, and resiliency through greater understanding of your own early life experiences, please reach out to begin work with one of our therapists. Visit www.umbrellacollective.org/eligibility to learn more.
