Reclaiming our Alarm Systems

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By Stef Gentuso

When I work with folks, I feel like we’ve all got something in common. Well, many things really, but there’s one I’m thinking of right now. It’s how pretty much everyone’s healing journey starts with a desire to get rid of something. Depression, anger, anxiety, traumatic memories, dysphoria…you name it, we want to get rid of it. And of course we do! These feeling are intolerable if they stay around too long. Or if they keep coming back.

Sometimes it might feel like there’s something wrong with us. Like there’s a car alarm going off in our brain every time we try something. Or maybe we feel buried under a pile of fire-retardant foam all day long. I like using this kind of “alarm system” language because that’s what’s really going on—our alarm systems are out of whack! Like smoke detectors that go off when we’re trying to cook.

Thinking of our big feelings (anxiety, dysphoria, etc.) as alarm systems to be reclaimed can help build self-compassion. I say this because I know it’s hard to feel compassion towards these feelings. My clients and I often explore the self-aggression or self-annoyance that comes up when something like depression “gets in the way again.”

Another way to build self-compassion is saying: “Oh, there’s that alarm again. That’s ok.” Even if it doesn’t feel ok, saying so can help quiet alarms over time. And when we’ve built enough self-compassion towards them, when our alarms have quieted enough, they can give us good information again! Our depression can become sadness or loneliness, something to gently attend to. Our dysphoria or anger can become reasons to say “no,” reasons to make changes.

We so often start our journey trying to get rid of something. My clients and I keep finding that reclaiming is what it’s really about. 


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Umbrella Collective

Mission Statement:

We are a group of depth-oriented mental health therapists who strive to embody values of liberation, welcome and honor all parts of our humanity, deeply appreciate intersectionality and empower all people to tell their story and experience acceptance, belonging and more meaningful relationships with self and others.

Who We Are:

The Umbrella Collective was developed to be a group practice where clients can see themselves reflected in their therapists from an inclusive standpoint. We consist of a network of talk therapists who specialize in working with an intersectional lens, centering the margins in the therapeutic work. We offer many different psychotherapy modalities, including psychodynamic, somatic, EMDR, CBT, Hypnotherapy, and Substance Abuse treatment. We provide consultation to individuals, families, and groups. Umbrella Collective mental health professionals are passionate about social justice, dedicated to ongoing training and education in best practices for BIPOC, LGBTQ people, and people who experience life on the margins. We are skilled at working with you and your intersecting identities.

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The Umbrella Collective Inc and its mental health professionals offer services to all people regardless of their race, ethnicity, color, language, national origin, immigration status, sex, gender identity, gender expression, sexual orientation, socio-economic background and status, military status, marital and familial status, age, religion, body shape, size, and ability.